Case of the Great Danish Read online

  My girl was making the magic wakeup elixir which smelled divine, holding her cup under the stream of coffee before replacing the pot under it. I think it is some sort of impatient cop thing, she doesn't even look repentant when she does it. I have to clean up the sizzling drops that hit the burner all the time. Jess is worse, I have learned since she moved into our spare room down here, that it is possible for someone to have caffeine instead of blood pumping through their veins.

  I sighed and turned from my bad girl to go get a pan out to cook up some scrambled eggs and ham that I could put in a bagel for her. Bagels made good, portable, one-handed food conveyors for my girl in blue. She was always on the move. I squeaked at the prodigious chest I found in front of me. I placed a finger on the interloper's breastbone to push her back a step as Jess said, “Move it, runt. Don't get between a girl and her coffee.”

  I muttered to the smiling redhead in her kimono, “Don't sneak up on me like that, Red!”

  She cocked an eyebrow in challenge as she stated, “I didn't.”

  I almost had a heart attack when a voice beside me said, “She didn't, Tempe, it's called walking. Now stop coffee blocking.”

  I placed a hand on my chest to contain my beating heart. It was hell being so short in a land of giants. I looked up at her and gleeped out, “Don't do that, Ker!”

  My traitorous girl said absently from the couch as she turned on the TV, “It's just you Finny.”

  Then I grumped as I went about starting to cook for our expanding family, since Kerry spent more nights here than not, “They certainly weren't silent last night.”

  Then I blushed to my core when Jess gave me a lascivious look over her coffee cup as she headed toward the living room. “We had to be loud to drown out you screaming Jane's name. I'm surprised the neighbors don't complain.”

  By the sacred squeaky toy, I was going to die from embarrassment right there. My girl wasn't any help when I turned to her. She just had a smug, almost prideful look on her face as she watched the news.

  I pouted to myself as I went about making omelets for the girls and a bagel for Jane. “Well, at least they could warn a girl instead of being all sneaky.”

  Jane chuckled in counterpoint from where she sat, going through her morning routine, “It amazes me how you can see and remember things in painful detail, but are blissfully unaware of the people moving about around you.”

  The brat. Fine. Take this. “The only important people around here have tails.” I nodded at Calvin.

  Ker-bear chimed out, “And me?”

  I had to smile. “And you.”

  Jess shot puppy-dog eyes. I caved, “And you.”

  I held up a hand to stop Jane, shaking my head. Then winked at her. I was feeling all kinds of tricksy and frisky. I absently twirled the ring on my finger, feeling... whole? For the first time. I felt my cheeks burning at the seductive smile she gave me over her cup. Was that a signature move of all gorgeous girls? Do they like, practice in front of the mirror or something?

  I muttered in defeat, “Fine, not my finest point.”

  I got the beasts fed, and Jess was moaning as I went into the kitchen to wash the dishes, “This is sinfully delicious Fin. If Five-O waited any longer, I would have proposed myself just to get you to cook for me every day.”

  I quirked an eyebrow and pointed out in confusion, “I do cook for you every day.”

  She grinned, and I squeaked when I turned to find myself face to chest with Jane who said as she reached over me to retrieve her sidearm from the cabinet over the refrigerator, “I saw her first, paws off, Red.”

  I grinned and placed a hand on her chest just to feel her heartbeat. Sometimes I didn't mind her complete disrespect for personal space. Then Kerry piped up, “Actually ladies, I saw her two decades before both of you. So if that is the bar we are shooting for, then toss me the ring Copper.”

  I blurted as my cheeks burned, “They're only eggs, people.” If I had known I could catch potential suitors by simply making some omelets, I would have set up a little grill out on the sidewalk long ago.

  I really loved how the girls teased me, it made me feel loved, and not at all out of place among the three amazons. Jane gave me a peck on the lips. “See ya soon Finny, I shouldn't take the full day. Then we can celebrate the holiday right.” There was all kinds of suggestive heat in that simple sentence, and I savored every ounce of that heat.

  I just nodded at her and smoothed my pajamas down, never knowing what I'm supposed to do with my hands. She called out as she shut the door, “Bye brats.”

  Jess shot back, “Whatever, Five-O.”

  I chuckled as I moved over and started locking and unlocking the door three times as she called through the door, “Was talking to Fin and Calvin. Get over yourself, Red.”

  I exhaled and turned back to my task of cleaning up the kitchen. Ker was heading for the door, Jess trailing behind her. “Well, I'm off to my place. Need to get a change of clothes.”

  I snorted.

  She cocked an eyebrow imperiously at me in question.

  I rolled my eyes and looked down at Calvin, who was scouring the floor for any ham or eggs I may have 'accidentally' dropped when I was cooking. I know, I spoil him. I'm surprised he isn't as big as a hippo by now. It must be all the exercise he gets every day. “I don't know why you don't just move your stuff in over here. You two have been dating for months now. You're practically connected at the hips.”

  Three, two, one. I put up a finger as they both started denying it. “Friends with benefits.” “Preferred booty call.”

  What the fluffy heck was their problem with admitting they were made for each other? Was it so they could keep the illusion that they were these wild and free bad girls they went through great effort to project? Neither one has been with another woman since they met, and it is easy to see the true feelings they try to hide behind the lust.

  Ker stepped up and kissed the top of my head, chuckled at the mess it was still in, and said, “Catch ya on the flip-side, Tempe.” She and mom were the only ones allowed to call me that. Once I got out of junior high school, I reinvented myself and embraced my first name.

  I used to hate it because it sounded like a boy's name and I was already endlessly teased by the popular girls who said I wanted to be a boy because I followed Garrett around and dressed like him. So I went by my middle name. That's also when I started dressing as feminine as I could and developed my obsession with sundresses.

  But now, I love my name and insist on everyone calling me Fin or Finnegan. Ker gets a pass because she keeps forgetting because she knew me back in the days of Temperance. I gave up correcting her like forty bazillions Tempe's ago.

  I asked as she was escorted to the door by her not-girl, “Coming tonight for It's a Wonderful Life?” It was my family's tradition to watch the sappy old movie every Christmas.

  I had to smother my smile with my hand when she looked at Jess in question. My red-headed best friend shook her head. “I don't know if we can get away from mom and pop's early enough.” See? They were dating, she was even bringing Kerry to her parent's place for Christmas dinner. Why were they so stubborn?

  Then she got almost shy as she said while she scuffed a foot a very bashful way, “Wear something nice. They tend make it almost like a semi-formal thing.”

  Ker grinned as she unlocked my door and moved halfway out as Jess held the edge of the door with both hands. They leaned in and shared a, umm, really hot kiss that had me missing Jane as I swallowed. Kerry was smug as she said, “See ya soon, Red. Love... eating breakfast with you.”

  Jess, was a girl. And I had to grin. She's always in kickass woman mode, but she was actually blushing as she responded, “See ya soon Fly Girl. I really love eating breakfast with you too.”

  With that Ker-bear was gone and Jess closed the door, placing her back on it, her fingers splayed across the gloss white finish. She was smitten.

  I teased appropriately
, “You looove her.”

  I was surprised that as she locked the door, for me, that she admitted it with a sigh of resignation, “Yeah. And I blame you, runt.” She elucidated, “I should have just had that one night with her and moved on. But she's... and I can't tell her or she'd be off like a shot.”

  I asked in with my voice full of incredulity, “How is it my fault? And she feels the same about you. You two are just frickin' idiots.”

  She smirked and tried to change the subject as I wiped my hands on the dishrag, put it into the bin to be washed as I got a clean one out to hang on the oven door handle. She told Calvin, “Ooo, Fin almost cussed.”

  I smirked as I retorted, “Fuck you.”

  See? I can curse on demand if need be.

  She shoed me toward the stairs. “I love you, you are so much fun, girl. Now go get dressed, I'll walk Calvin with you.”

  I nodded, and Cal followed me up the stairs as I said, “Love you too, Mable, even though you are high maintenance. And see how easy it is to say? Now if only you could tell Ker.”

  I squeaked and ran up the steps faster to avoid the placemat she had flung at me like some sort of ninja throwing star. I so enjoyed teasing her about her name, even though I thought it fit her when she was being human and vulnerable like this.

  I showered, dried my hair, and got dressed. I picked one of my two pairs of jeans. Though I'd prefer a sundress or skirt, Jane loved me in jeans, and I wanted to do something special for her today. We were engaged now, after all.

  I felt sassy, rebellious, and edgy so put on a plain white tee to go with them. It would look awesome with my leather jacket. Sort of nineteen fifties throwback. When I got down, Jess had showered, her red hair still wet and slicked back into a ponytail, she was dressed in torn black jeans and a black tee as she draped that awesome leather trench-coat on. All she needed was some sort of automatic weapon in her hands, and she'd look right at home in any action thriller.

  She cocked an eyebrow at my choice of clothes as she crouched to put Calvin's harness and working vest on. “Ooo, Jane's getting lucky tonight.”

  I felt the burn of a blush on my cheeks as it traveled down my neck. “What?”

  She looked me up and down appreciatively. “Well, you're dressed as Jane candy. Fun-sized, version.”

  I grumped out though I couldn't hide my smile, “Shut up,” as I joined them and slipped into the leather jacket that was a couple sizes too big on me, discretely taking in the smell of leather, lilac, and gun oil. The scent of Jane.

  She chuckled at me as I slipped on some black snow boots with fuzzy trim, some fuzzy black earmuffs and a black knit cap with a white flower pattern. “This isn't the Arctic, Fin.”

  I shrugged as I clipped Calvin's leash on him. “Says you.”

  She nodded and quipped, “Yes, I do.” Then she got serious and added, “But really, you look good. She'll love it.”

  We shared a smile then she opened the door, and we were off, but not after I locked and unlocked the door a few times, giving the door a push to make sure.

  I thought it was awesome that every morning, either Jane or Jess would take the time to walk Calvin with me in the park, and sometimes both of them. I know it was only partially to keep me company, and partially because they thought I was some sort of magnet for trouble and they were looking out for Calvin and me. Kerry would tag along if it were early enough to get the walk in before she had to take off to her post as the Air Force recruiting office in Times Square, the Box.

  It was a little awkward at first when Jess moved in. I mean, she was Jane's ex and all. But I found that Jess was truly happy for us, even though she was kicking herself for losing Jane. She couldn't handle the uncertainty that came with dating a cop, of not knowing each day if it would be the day she didn't come home, and some other officer had to tell her the devastating news.

  I could accept that, since it was part of what made Jane, well, Jane. She was a cop through and through, and I wouldn't ask her to change that, as it would be a poison that would slowly kill our relationship. I thought she was amazing and I wouldn't change a thing. That's not to say that I didn't worry, because I did, a lot. But that was part of the package that was Detective Jane McLeary.

  It was even more strange that Jess and I, instead of becoming enemies, became the best of friends, and I am so glad she came to live with Jane and me. And I didn't even feel awkward asking, “I want to do something special for Jane today. She works so hard, even on the holidays. I thought I drop by for lunch at the station. It'll almost be a ghost town there. What is her favorite snack that she hides from me? I know she eats junk food and stuff.”

  She chuckled at that, shaking her head as she explained, “There's nothing wrong with junk food, Fin. And you bake cookies and cakes for the station all the time, those aren't exactly healthy either, lady.”

  “Fine.” Then I prompted, “They always have donuts which they abandon when I come in with a fresh batch of brownies or cookies.”

  She nodded, in thought. “If you really want to know what she hides from you, it's these cheesecake danishes she sneaks off to get at Havermail's. She says they are like little pieces of heaven that go straight to her thighs. I guess they drizzle this vanilla frosting on them that is sinfully decadent.”

  That sounded amazing. What? I can appreciate a good pastry, I'm not like some sort of health nut you know. But a balanced diet is a... shut up.

  I had my vices, and some of Jane's were sweets and sometimes a beer. She kept that stuff in the crisper drawer in the refrigerator that I had helpfully labeled “Jane's Contraband.”

  Havermail's was a bit of a surprise, she was more of a corner store or Rocket Bakery girl, and Havermail's was one of the upper crust bakeries which catered to the rich and the famous.

  Jess saw me pondering it and supplied with a smirk, “She was on a case, and had to talk to the manager there once. She saw this danish while she was there and couldn't resist, so bought one and got hooked like a junkie on them. I think they are great too, but they aren't twelve dollars great. I can get two dozen donuts at Rocket for that.”

  I was grinning but then realized my own folly. “Hmm. Maybe I should do this tomorrow. Nothing is going to be open today.”

  She was quick to counter, making me feel, not for the first time, that she was living vicariously through Jane and my romance. “Havermail's will be open for 'special' clients. When you cater to the rich and famous, holidays will be the main staple. You can charge double for the 'convenience,' and the upper crust will expect to get what they want when they want.”

  That was good news, and it made sense. A lot of the more posh doggy spas and veterinary clinics I brought my fuzzy clients to were open on the holidays to pamper the rich's canine babies as well. I pointed out to her, “You know, you can do things like this for Kerry too. I promise a little romance between your... umm... sessions, will not chase her away.”

  She deflected. “We're talking about you and Jane here, don't change the topic, walker girl.”

  I muttered as we entered Central Park, shivering in the wind, “Calvin, attack.” She snorted when he just looked back up at me, tail swishing, not attacking. I asserted, “Just wait, Jess. One day he actually will. Then you'll be sorry.”

  She exhaled long and loud, but with humor as she said as she hugged me to her, “I already am, Fin, I already am.” Mable shaped Mable was fun.

  So, I had a plan now. Show up at the station in jeans with Jane's favorite contraband, thank her thoroughly for last night. I blushed and chuckled, watching my breath fog the air in little puffs.

  I said to Jess as I realized again, wiggling my hand at her when we stopped when Cal found the proper tree for his business, “I'm engaged.”

  “Yes. Yes, you are.” She had the look of someone being patient with a loved one. The brat.

  I beamed in defiant pride and realized my hands were almost completely frozen and pulled out some fuzzy black mittens.
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  Jess asked in amazement, “Do you have shoes, boots, and accessories to coordinate with every outfit? Mind you, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just...”

  I provided helpfully, nodding, “Impressive?”

  “No. I was going to say, OCD.”

  “I'm not, OCD. Sort of.”

  Her lack of response had me growling at her to no avail as I cleaned up Calvin's other offering that was sitting in the snow, and we headed back home. That's ok, see if I fold her laundry for her next time. Ok, I'd still fold it, but with a vengeance.

  I shivered, then the evil redhead started a good belly laugh when I pulled out a black scarf with fuzzy ends. I would have snowballed her butt if she hadn't pulled me against her to share her warmth. Jessie lives another day.

  Chapter 5 - Havermail's Baked Goods

  Cal and I set out to locate this panacea of danishes shortly after arriving back home. I often wondered why Jane felt she had to hide her guilty pleasures like this. I wouldn't judge her... much. Nor tease her... much. Ok, I was getting the idea now.

  This was sort of like a covert operation that made me feel better about her not wanting to visit her family on the holidays. They weren't exactly supportive of her, “lifestyle choices,” read her sexuality here. Why don't they understand it isn't a choice, it just is what it is, and you can't change that to make other people happy.

  But her new family loves her for who she is... as long as she isn't being a jerk. I grinned at myself, knowing she was mostly a jerk to rile me up and I sort of liked our little arguments. I know, there's something wrong with me.

  As we slipped out of the park and across 5th Avenue, heading toward Madison, I noted the streets were abnormally light on both foot and automobile traffic. It was like this every major holiday, making it feel as though the city was holding its breath. I knew it would spring to life after noon and look almost as hectic as normal. I liked the quiet feeling, especially on Christmas, where the world is done up in lights and glitter that reflected on the new fallen snow Mother Nature was kind enough to deliver for us this year.